Triggered? Or Gifted? The Hidden Invitation in Emotional Pain

When Pain Becomes a Mirror

Apr 29, 2025

The Sting of Exclusion: A Familiar Trigger

We’ve all been there.

You’re laughing with a group of friends, feeling connected, until suddenly a few of them stand up and say, “We’ve got dinner plans.” Just like that, they leave. You hadn’t been invited. And even if the reasons were innocent—maybe they thought you weren’t interested, or the dinner group was already fixed—none of that matters in the moment.

What matters is:
You. Were. Left. Out.

And it hurt.

That pain? That’s what we call a trigger. A moment when the reaction feels outsized, where shame, rage, sadness, or fear flood your system. And if you’re like most people, the internal monologue begins:

“They never include me. What’s wrong with me? Am I not likable enough?”

You may try to brush it off, but the body remembers. And that inner child—yes, the one still holding onto old wounds—takes the front seat. In fact, the saying goes:
“If it’s hysterical, it’s historical.”

Understanding the Inner Child's Wound

This is where inner child healing begins. Triggers aren’t just about the present moment. They are echoes of past emotional injuries, still raw and unprocessed. What seems like a “minor” social rejection in adulthood can ignite the buried pain of childhood—perhaps the feeling of being left out at school, ignored by a parent, or misunderstood by those who were supposed to care.

As David shares in his book Wounded Angels, when someone is easily triggered, it’s not because they’re “too sensitive” in a bad way. It’s because they once had to become deeply attuned to the needs and moods of others, often at the cost of their own needs. That sensitivity was a survival skill.

Now, as adults, when we feel excluded, the abandonment wound reactivates. And we don’t just feel left out—we feel unworthy, unseen, and unloved.

Let’s Look Deeper: What if the Trigger Is a Gift?

Here’s where the perspective shifts.

What if the trigger wasn’t here to destroy your peace...
But to guide you back home to yourself?

Let’s explore that.

What if this painful emotional surge was actually your soul tapping on your shoulder?

At first, the Universe whispers.
Then it speaks.
If you still don’t listen—it shakes you.

And that shake? That’s the trigger.

The Energetics of a Trigger

When a trigger shows up, especially in situations that feel emotionally disproportionate, it’s asking:

What energy am I holding inside that is reflecting in my outer world?
What emotion wants to be seen, acknowledged, and healed?
Where am I abandoning or devaluing myself?

In the earlier example, your friends didn’t include you. Your mind jumps to the story: “They don’t like me.”

But the energy behind the trigger might be:

“I haven’t been valuing myself. I haven’t been affirming my own worth. I seek external validation to feel included, rather than holding my place as someone worthy of love, just as I am.”

Can you feel the shift?

Now, the trigger is no longer the enemy.
It becomes your mirror. Your mentor. Your map.

Questions Worth Asking When You’re Triggered

The next time you feel a wave of emotional pain hit you hard, pause and ask:

Where is this trigger leading me?
What outdated story am I repeating?
What do I need to feel safe right now?
What am I believing about myself that might not be true?
What inner part of me is crying out for attention?

This opens a door.

Rather than reacting outwardly or suppressing it inwardly, you step into observation and curiosity—and this is where healing begins.

From Rejection to Reflection: Turning Inward

Let’s revisit the social rejection scenario.

Your body reacts. Your thoughts spiral.
But now, you take a breath and turn inward.

You notice the loneliness.
You feel the ache in your chest.
You whisper to your inner child: “I see you. I love you. You are enough.”

You sit with the discomfort instead of running from it.
You journal about what was triggered.
You ask: What if I was always worthy—and this situation is simply reminding me to see that?

Suddenly, the power shifts.
You’re no longer at the mercy of the outer world.
You’re reclaiming the wisdom of your inner world.

Why You Should Pay Heed to a Trigger

Most of us are taught to avoid pain. To stay busy. To dismiss emotional overreactions as weakness.

But those who walk the healing path know:
Pain is a portal.

Triggers are not here to hurt you. They are here to highlight where you’re still hurting.

When you begin paying attention to what your triggers are pointing to, you step into the most sacred opportunity:

The chance to evolve.

To grow into a higher version of yourself.
To stop living from wounded patterns.
To start living from wholeness.

The Healing Process: What Happens When You Listen to Triggers

Here’s what shifts when you start honoring your triggers:

You become more emotionally resilient.
You stop blaming others for your feelings.
You create space between reaction and response.
You become deeply compassionate—to yourself and others.
You release suppressed energies that have been running your life unconsciously.
You grow in self-worth, self-trust, and emotional maturity.

In essence, you begin living consciously, no longer driven by invisible pain but guided by powerful presence.

The Antidote to Chaos: Hope, Healing, and Presence

We live in a chaotic world. Newsfeeds scream, relationships strain, responsibilities mount. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed and disconnected.

But the answer isn’t in running faster. It’s in slowing down.

In being present with what is—without judgment.
In healing the wounds that scream for our attention through triggers.
And in holding onto hope—not as wishful thinking, but as a grounded trust that healing is possible and always available.

Presence, hope, and healing are not luxuries—they are lifelines. Especially in these fragmented times, our ability to come home to ourselves is what holds us together.

The more we meet our pain with presence, the more we offer that same presence to others. And that is how collective healing begins: one trigger, one moment of awareness at a time.

The Art of Looking Within

So what’s the solution to all this stress, this emotional rollercoaster, this weight we carry?

It’s simple—though not always easy.

Look within.

Our outer world is simply a projection of our inner energies.
When the inner world is chaotic, the outer world mirrors it.
When the inner world finds clarity, the outer world begins to respond in kind.

Triggers are not just moments of emotional discomfort. They are indicators that the energy within us is seeking balance. And by learning to observe, understand, and transmute these inner energies, we begin to shift our entire reality.

This is the true art—
Of living soul empowered.
Of creating from the inside out.
Of responding instead of reacting.
Of embodying peace even when the world outside isn’t peaceful.

When we choose to heal within,
We start to lead lives that no longer need to scream for our attention.

Conclusion: When You Peel the Onion…

“When you peel that onion, the results will drop your jaw to the floor.”

Because what you’ll find beneath that outer shell of pain is the deepest truth:

You are not broken. You are becoming.

Triggers are the Universe’s loving nudge, guiding you from survival to self-love, from reaction to remembrance, from woundedness to wholeness.

So the next time life pokes you in the most sensitive spot—smile a little.

You’ve just been invited into the greatest healing journey of all:
Returning to your soul.

Sharing a poem that I love from my book, The Faint Call of the Soul:

The faint call of my soul

Made me pause,

I lent it an ear

It gave me wings to fly.

With love,
Dr. Vishakha Singhania & David Deane Haskell

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